Motherhood is a Mirror: What Our Emotions Are Trying to Tell Us

Becoming a mother transformed me, in both the most rewarding and challenging ways. No one tells you how much of yourself you’ll come face-to-face with. The joyful parts, absolutely, but also the anxious parts. The overwhelmed parts. The “I just need five minutes to myself” parts.

Motherhood, I’ve learned, isn’t just about raising a child. It’s also about re-meeting yourself.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how motherhood can trigger deep emotional responses we didn’t even know were sitting under the surface. Whether it’s feeling overstimulated, not feeling “enough,” or wrestling with guilt for craving and needing a break, we carry so much! And it’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a signal.

According to Pillay (2020), the emotional toll of modern motherhood often goes unseen and untreated, despite rising rates of maternal mental health concerns. So many of us push through the days with grace on the outside but exhaustion on the inside. But emotional wellness matters, not just for us, but for our children too.

When we tend to our emotional needs, we’re modeling what self-awareness and healthy regulation look like. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present.

That’s why I’ve been practicing something small but powerful lately: pause and name.

When I feel that tightness rising in my chest or the tears starting to build, I pause, and I name it.

“I’m feeling frustrated.”

“I’m anxious and overstimulated.”

“I’m tired, and I need a moment.”

Research supports this. Emotional labeling, a key component of emotional intelligence, can calm the amygdala and help reduce stress reactivity in the brain (Lieberman et al., 2007). Just simply naming what we’re feeling is one step toward regulating it.

If motherhood has taught me anything, it’s that wellness isn’t found in having it all together. It’s found in the small, quiet choices to be kind to yourself. To rest when you need to. To forgive yourself quickly. To laugh when you really want to cry. To let those dishes sit in the sink.

So, if today feels heavy, you’re not alone. You’re not failing. You’re human.

And mama, that’s more than enough.

References:

Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421-428. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x

Pillay, J. (2020). The emotional labor of motherhood: Managing feelings in the early parenting years. Women and Birth, 33(2), e105–e111. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.wombi.2019.08.010